One day you’re texting some random guy on reddit, and 2.5 years later you’re freezing your butt off trying to ski across frozen Finnish wilderness. This is called: consequences of your own actions!
The neighboring gate at the Chopin Airport led to Lisbon and tempted us with warmth and sun. And yet, once again, at the turn of January and February, we landed on the border of Finnish Lapland. In a place where the ice cuts into your bones, the trees bend under the weight of snow and the air is colder than your ex’s heart.
Oh no, wait a minute…
It’s another year when the curse follows me. Last winter, after my arrival to Poland, the thermometers reached +18 degrees. This winter, seconds after I left Oulu, the thermometers hit -30. Similarly now in Kuusamo, where the usual -20 was replaced by near-zero temperatures for the duration of our trip. Physicists and astrologists throw up their hands. No one knows why I carry so much heat everywhere I go.
Contrary to last year, this time we gave up downhill skiing and snowboarding. Mainly because it’s expensive, the routes aren’t too long, it’s difficult to transport all the equipment, and Kasper swore that he would never be dragged onto any slope ever again.
However, the main advantage of a ski trip is that it just plans itself. On the first day: a warm-up. Then exploration of the routes, followed by treating the muscle sores that the exploration gave you… Along the way someone will inevitably get injured or ill, and you can spend the rest of the trip resting in the cottage with a clear conscience.
However, since we rejected the ski option, we had the challenge of planning from scratch a week-long trip that would satisfy all five of us.
Bartek, who accompanied us already last year, decided to join me and Kasper also this time (once more and he’ll be entitled to honorary citizenship of Northern Ostrobothnia). And so we added an additional requirement to not repeat too many of last year’s activities. Krystian, in order to come with us, allegedly spent the money he was supposed to spend on finishing the bathroom in his new apartment. So absolutely no pressure! I haven’t heard of any sacrifices that Martyna had to make, but I didn’t check the number of her kidneys before and after the trip, so you never know.
Valtavaara
You don’t step into the same river twice, but you can definitely climb the same mountains. Especially since on the first day the snow had not melt from the trees yet and you could still take photos with the #winterwonderland hashtag. And Valtavaara is a perfect place for this. This year, sliding down the mountain on your butt turned out to be rather difficult, but sinking waist-deep in snow was absolutely doable (if you strayed off the trail).
Apparently, Krystian promised his grandmother before the trip that he would not do anything stupid. But he never defined what „stupid” was.
The one, in which I put Kasper on ice
The second day greeted us with the above zero temperatures and the forecast of rain, so we decided to stay at home and entertain ourselves in our own backyard.
First, we had an ambitious plan to go ice fishing in the backyard lake. However, it turned out that the top layer of ice had turned into a half-melted slush, and while the ice itself was still thick, walking on it meant stepping ankle-deep into water. Reaching the middle of the lake was only possible with snowshoes (one pair in our stock) or in the body of a not-too-big of a girl (two in stock, but one was at the time busy with her corporate career). You know all those riddles that go „the team wants to cross the river, they have one boat, and cannibals can’t travel with the missionaries”? These are the situations they prepare you for.
After we figured out how to transport two fishing enthusiasts to the middle of the lake (one goes with me in his snowshoes, I carry the snowshoes to the other, etc.), it turned out that the fish weren’t biting there and they would have to change their location. Then we gave up. The fish won.
The second ambitious plan was to build a snow shack palace. We did much better here, although Martyna marked out the construction site on such a grand scale that the walls didn’t come together until a few hours later. However, they were so thick that the palace could easily be used as a bunker.
It was one of our first transport ideas and it worked quite well until Krystian decided to get off the shovel in the middle of the deepest puddle. His shoes also went to the sauna that day.
Goodbye Kasperek, it was nice meeting you!
Me after checking prices for apartments in Warsaw.
Oulanka
The next day we drove a bit further (approx. 50 km from Kuusamo) to the Oulanka national park. We went on Hiiden hurmos – a quiet 5 km trail that connects with the picturesque Kiutaköngäs rapid.
Unlike Valtavaara, there wasn’t much to climb here, so we covered the entire route quite quickly (you can leave Warsaw, but the Warsaw walking pace will never leave you).
Just before the end of the trail, we stopped for a bonfire. Finnish sausages are generally a bit closer to what we would call frankfurter in Poland, but they come in flavored versions (e.g. with cheese or chili). After all, after two hours of treading and freezing your ass off (the nominal -2°C felt like -8), you don’t complain when they serve you warm meat straight from the fire. The catch is that sitting for more than a minute in such cold usually leaves you freezing, with no option to warm back up.
Treading on thin rice
The next day we went to the only trail that required us to wear snowshoes. Namely, to the summit of Riisitunturi (rice hill).
It was also the only place that is actually located in Lapland, so we could say with a clear conscience that we spent our holidays there. It was what we told people even before anyway, but with a bad conscience.
In theory, it was the farthest and most interesting expedition, but not much happened during the entire trip. It turns out that walking in snowshoes is surprisingly tiring and we probably had no energy for anything other than moving forward. We came, we climbed, we left. Veni, vidi, vici. I am posting the photos out of an archivist duty.
Like Justyna
Last year we experienced a huge disappointment when it turned out that yes, we were going cross-country skiing, but not the kind that Justyna Kowalczyk runs. 0/10. I’d like my money back.
Well, this year we had to fix this mistake. We found the skate skiis only at the second rental place, and even there the staff wasn’t sure what to give us, because who had ever heard of such a niche sport? Ultimately, however, we went on the route equipped with our skis and solid knowledge on skiing from YouTube tutorials.
Well, what can I tell you, dear readers… I think I’ll leave these skis to Justyna.
The going down part was quite nice, but every time I had to ski uphill, I thought I’m gonna go crazy. If we stayed on YouTube a little longer, we would probably get to the video in which coach Gary shows what technique to use to ski uphill. Well, we didn’t. So, at each uphill we stoped slowly like ducks, praying only for a quick end (ours or the hill’s). All this for a minute of a nice descent and then back again.
The only consolation was that it was snowing heavily that evening, so Kasper’s skis (who rejected Justyna’s style and chose classic cross-country skis) kept getting stuck with snow and made it impossible for him to move forward. So our choice was better. Justyna on top.
The lazy day
After such an intense time, we naturally planned a day full of rest. The programme includes: a reindeer sleigh ride, saucer sleds and a concert.
Also a spontaneous bank robbery on the way.
The reindeer ride was a bit disappointing. When someone tells us „sleigh ride”, we expect a big sleigh full of furs pulled by four handsome reindeer. Optionally, like in our childhood: a sleigh pulled by dad with his old Skoda. And what we got was a two-person toboggan and one older (but cute!) Mr. reindeer who pulled us around the circle for a few minutes.
But then Kasper told us how much such a „real” sleigh ride would cost and afterwards we declared that our option was great and we couldn’t be happier.
After the ride, we could feed and pet the young reindeer. They despised any petting, but as long as you put food in their mouths, they would let you stroke their heads.
Before returning to the car, we looked at the dogs who were also offering their sleigh ride services in the other part of the farm. These were definitely more enthusiastic (and loud), and they ran so fast that when we looked away for a few seconds, we completely missed the start of the sleigh ride.
The next stop on the way was Ruka, where next to the ski slope there is also a toboggan section for children. However, the slope is so gentle that after one (very slow) descent we decided to look for better routes.
So we went back to Kuusamo, where a beautiful hill was waiting for us in the city center.
That evening, Kasper and I went to the Club For Five concert in Kuusamo. I had mixed expectations because I love their a cappella songs (especially the ones where they don’t use vocal percussion), but I don’t like the ones with instruments/synth. However, it turned out that they performed fully a cappella and mostly more „classical” songs (as the concert was in a church). My favorite .
Last day and summary
We spent our last day pursuing culinary adventures. First, we tried to catch fish again – to no avail, but allegedly we ALMOST had it, but it was SO big that it didn’t fit in the hole and the guys sadly couldn’t pull it out. Then we baked the remaining sausages in the oven. And at the end of the day we went to a local restaurant for traditional fried vendace and reindeer. And I must admit that I’m becoming a fan of vendace and I regretted that I didn’t order the whole plate for myself.
In short, we found enough fun activities around Kuusamo for another winter week. A surprising number of them were just steps from home.
We spent one of the most interesting evenings in a home wood-fired sauna. While we had an „ordinary” electric sauna next to the bathroom (and we used it almost every day), there was also a separate cabin with a traditional sauna by the lake shore. Since heating it up required a lot more effort (and clearing the path leading to it), Kasper only attempted it once. We didn’t manage to get the temperature inside as high as we would have liked, but the opportunity to roll naked in the snow on the lake compensated for any inconvenience. Since there was no shower in the cabin and the guys didn’t want to get their clothes sweaty when walking back home after the sauna, they fulfilled their long-time dream of running naked in the forest.
I also fulfilled a dream I didn’t know I had: singing naked in harmony to the soundtrack of Encanto and The Peasants.
I also came to the conclusion that a private sauna on a frosty day is on my list of top favorite things, along with Kasper, my dog and carbonara (in no particular order).
